Category Archives: Caregiving – General

Finding a recommended hospice agency

Date
Posted by

FINDING A RECOMMENDED AGENCY

Within our local Brain Support Network, I am often asked how to find a good hospice agency.  These are my recommendations for that:

1- check out the Medicare rankings of home health agencies.  See our previous blog post about that:

www.brainsupportnetwork.org/sf-bay-area-home-health-agencies-rated-on-medicare-site/

2- attend a local support group meeting and ask what agency others have used.

3- if you are a Brain Support Network group member, check the group membership directory for someone in your local area.

4- ask at your place of worship.

5- if your family member lives at a care facility, ask the management and other residents’ families.

6- if your family is receiving home health services, ask if the home health agency has a hospice counterpart.

7- if your family is receiving home care services through an agency or experienced private individual, ask if the agency or individual has a recommendation.

8- use the Washington Post’s hospice comparison guide.   See our previous blog post about that:

www.brainsupportnetwork.org/washington-posts-hospice-guide-and-how-to-evaluate-a-hospice-agency/

9- get the low-down on sites like Yelp or Nextdoor.

INTERVIEWING AGENCIES

Assuming there are a couple of choices available in your area, it’s best if you interview at least two hospice agencies.  Here are two posts about questions to ask when selecting a hospice agency:

www.brainsupportnetwork.org/choosing-a-hospice-16-questions-to-ask/

www.brainsupportnetwork.org/questions-to-ask-when-selecting-a-hospice-agency/

IMPORTANT NOTES

* In general, I prefer non-profit hospice agencies.

* Be sure you know that you can change agencies!

Robin

Unconventional Grief: Grieving someone Alive

Date
Posted by

This blog post is about “grieving for someone alive,” which the author describes as different from “anticipatory grief.”  (Sure seems like they are splitting hairs!)  Grieving for someone alive is often “caused by a loved one becoming someone that you no longer know or recognize.”  This is also called “unconventional grief” or “ambiguous grief” in this blog post.

Here are some excerpts:

* “A person will experience many emotions while grieving someone alive. …  Anger is a prominent emotion that shows up. … While experiencing anger, you may feel guilty as well that you are experiencing anger or guilty that you cannot control or change the situation.”

* “Unlike when someone dies, you are unlikely to experience positive emotions while grieving someone alive. When someone passes, you are surrounded by the comfort of their loved ones and are often able to look at the joy of their life. This rarely happens with unconventional or ambiguous grief.”

* Five tips are offered for grieving someone alive:
– “Let yourself grieve. ”
– “Find other people in the same situation.”
– “Don’t forget your memories or the past.”
– “Open yourself up to change.”
– “Always remember that the illness is not the person.”

Here’s a link to the blog post:

thebereavementacademy.com/unconventional-grief-grieving-someone-alive/

Unconventional Grief: Grieving someone Alive
The American Academy of Bereavement
posted on October 20, 2015

California Right to Die Law

Date
Posted by

This email may be of general interest.

Some of us were talking at the last caregiver support group meeting as to whether the governor would sign the right to die legislation (“End of Life Option Act”) that was passed by the legislature this summer.  Gov. Jerry Brown did indeed sign the legislation last week.  There is at least one person in our local support group with a neurological diagnosis who feels relieved to have this available as an option, should he want to pursue it.

Here’s a good San Jose Mercury News article about the subject.

See: http://www.mercurynews.com/health/ci_28924368/brown-signs-right-die-law

Right to die: California Gov. Jerry Brown signs law
By Lisa M. Krieger, Jessica Calefati and Tracy Seipel
San Jose Mercury News
Posted:   10/05/2015 12:41:06 PM PDT

Robin

“Help for the Caring” (NeurologyNow)

Date
Posted by

There is a good article in the October/November 2015 issue of NeurologyNow magazine about family caregivers accepting assistance by hiring home care aides.  The key points of advice are:

* Manage your worries.  The author notes that a family caregiver persevered through two sub-par home care aides until she found a third one she and her husband were comfortable with.

* Let go of guilt.  A psychologist quoted in the article says:  “I tell caregivers that guilt is a cul-de-sac; it doesn’t lead anywhere.”

* Allow yourself to feel relief.  And, again – let go of guilt that you feel relief.

* Reach out for support.  The article reports on a caregiver who went to a caregiver support group five years earlier and realized she wasn’t ready to share her situation openly with others.  Then the caregiver started attending a support group when the time was right.

* Acknowledge loss.  A psychologist notes that grief continues as the family caregiver loses more parts of their loved one.

* Recognize how you’ve grown.  The author says:  “For many people, caring for someone is deeply rewarding.”

* Recalibrate your role.  “You may not be cooking meals or toileting the person [as outside help may be doing that], but that frees you up to be the advocate, case manager, and emotional support” for your family member,” says the psychologist.

* Consider your next chapter after the caregiving ends.  Resume hobbies or reinvest in relationships that languished while you were caregiving.

Here’s a link to to the full article:

journals.lww.com/neurologynow/Fulltext/2015/11050/Help_for_the_Caring__Not_all_caregivers_want_an.29.aspx
Help for the Caring: Not all caregivers want an extra hand, even when they really need it.  Here’s how to accept assistance — and handle the ambivalent emotions that may arise.
by Christine Richmond
Neurology Now
October/November 2015, Volume 11, Issue 5, pages 54-57

Happy reading!

Robin

“Caregiver Dementia: Oh Yea, It’s Real.” (US News)

Date
Posted by

Someone in our local support group recently sent me this June 2015 article from US News (usnews.com) about “caregiver dementia.” The author suggests that the condition is reversible. “Until caregivers are able to take proactive steps to overcome feelings of hopelessness resulting from the stress of caring for another person,” the symptoms of disorientation, forgetfulness, and depression will continue, she says.

I’m not so sure this is true but here’s one point of view…

Here’s a link to the article:

health.usnews.com/health-news/patient-advice/articles/2015/06/19/caregiver-dementia-oh-yea-its-real

Caregiver Dementia: Oh Yea, It’s Real.
There’s an overlooked type of dementia, and it’s more common than Alzheimer’s.
By Brenda Avadian, Contributor
June 19, 2015, at 10:50 a.m.
US News

Robin