I ran across this article tonight, and it certainly resonated. Many people with neurodegenerative disorders report that they dislike being told “you look great,” particularly when most of the symptoms are non-motor ones. The article’s author, who dealt with bone cancer, details 6 things you should never say to a friend or relative who’s sick and 4 things you can always say…
http://www.nytimes.com/2011/06/12/fashi … -life.html
(access to the NYT is no longer free beyond a certain number of articles each month)
(Excerpts from)
June 10, 2011
New York Times
This Life
‘You Look Great’ and Other Lies
By Bruce Feiler
…So at the risk of offending some well-meaning people, here are Six Things You Should Never Say to a Friend (or Relative or Colleague) Who’s Sick. And Four Things You Can Always Say.
First, the Nevers.
1. WHAT CAN I DO TO HELP?
2. MY THOUGHTS AND PRAYERS ARE WITH YOU.
3. DID YOU TRY THAT MANGO COLONIC I RECOMMENDED?
4. EVERYTHING WILL BE O.K.
5. HOW ARE WE TODAY?
6. YOU LOOK GREAT.
So what do patients like to hear? Here are four suggestions.
1. DON’T WRITE ME BACK.
2. I SHOULD BE GOING NOW.
3. WOULD YOU LIKE SOME GOSSIP?
4. I LOVE YOU.
Bruce Feiler’s memoir, “The Council of Dads: A Story of Family, Friendship and Learning How to Live,” has just been published in paperback.